...But Ph balanced for a woman!
As promised, Ella, Misanthropster, and I have now smell-tested all the women's deodorants. Again, we did this in two visits, which explains why Ella sniffed some, and Misanthropster sniffed others. Also, George decided to get into the act, throwing a tantrum until we let her give it a try. I hope anti-perspirant doesn't cause brain damage, as she had a little moustache by the time we were done.
At any rate, here are the results. I imagine that Glamourpuss
, who was surprised
at the number of men's deodorants, will flip her wig at this. Of course, most of them smell like baby powder. Ban Regular:
Crankster: Urine and rotted fruit.
Misanthropster: Alcohol and baby powder. Like Georgia on a Friday night.Ban Powder Fresh:
Crankster: Basic powder scent.
Misanthropster: Baby powder.Ban Shower Fresh:
Crankster: Cherry Kool-Aid.
Misanthropster: Like some awful mixed drink crap.Ban Satin Breeze:
Crankster: Basic powder scent.
Misanthropster: Like the ocean. Not in a good way.Ban Fresh Cotton:
Misanthropster: Alcohol and something nasty.Ban Sweet Surrender:
Crankster: Spoiled jelly. And the worst deodorant name ever.
Misanthropster: Jagermeister and Kahlua. I surrender.Dove Powder:
Crankster: Acetone and diapers.
Misanthropster: Ass and cinnamon.Dove Original Clean:
Crankster: Laundry detergent.
Misanthropster: Ass and Midori.Dove Radiant Silk:
Crankster: What I'd imagine a serial killer's house would smell like.
Misanthropster: Ass and lily.Dove Fresh:
Misanthropster: Ass and something nasty.Lady's Choice Shower Fresh:
Ella: An Italian hostelLady's Choice Cucumber Melon:
Crankster:Cherry Jolly Ranchers
Ella: Apple Jolly RanchersLady's Choice Powder Fresh:
Crankster: Scrubbing Bubbles cleanser
Ella: Jolly RanchersLady Speed Stick 24/7 Powder Burst:
Crankster: Way too powdery
Ella: Smells like baby powder. Very dry.Lady Speed Stick 24/7 Fresh Fusion:
Crankster: White grapes
Ella: Baby powderLady Speed Stick 24/7 Satin Pear:
Ella: Green Jolly RanchersLady Speed Stick 24/7 Cool Breeze:
Crankster: Cucumber and ammonia.
Ella: Fruity disinfectant.Lady Speed Stick Invisible Dry Wild Freesia:
Crankster: Fruit punch
Ella: Raspberries and new car cherry scent (Ella used to work in a car wash).Lady Speed Stick Invisible Dry Fruity Melon:
Ella: Honeydew and Jolly Ranchers.Lady Speed Stick Invisible Dry Shower Fresh:
Crankster: Industrial cleaner
Ella: Soft ScrubLady Speed Stick Invisible Dry Orchard Blossom:
Crankster: Green Apple Jolly Ranchers
Ella: Apple Jolly Ranchers. Way too sweet.Lady Speed Stick Invisible Dry Caribbean Cool:
Crankster: Baby powder
Ella: Baby powderMitchum for Women Powder Fresh Clear Gel:
Crankster: Baby powder mixed with a glue stick.
Ella: Baby powderMitchum for Women Shower Fresh:
Crankster: Dishwasher detergent and Comet cleanser.
Ella: Household cleaner.Secret Platinum Velvet Powder:
Crankster: Salad with mint.
Ella: Baby powder.Secret Platinum Botanical Silk:
Crankster: Nice scent. Cucumbery.
Ella: ParsleySecret Platinum Powder Fresh:
Crankster: Aggressively flowery.
Ella: Melon and powderSecret Platinum Ocean Breeze:
Crankster: Berries, softly flowery.
Ella: Those small purple flowers that are generally dried when you buy them.Secret Platinum Mystic Rain:
Crankster: Berries and Sea World.
Ella: CucumbersSecret Platinum Glacier Mist:
Crankster: Fruit punch.
Ella: Baby powder and chlorine.Secret Platinum Tropical Satin:
Crankster: Powdery and flowery
Misanthropster: Rotting grape jelly.Secret Platinum Spring Breeze:
Crankster: Sophisticated. Reminds me of Joy perfume.
Misanthropster: Rotting baby powder.Secret Platinum Peach Shimmer:
Crankster: Did Strawberry Shortcake have a peach friend? Flowery and melony.
Misanthropster: Rotting fruit punch with roses and bourbon.Secret Platinum Sparkling Vanilla:
Crankster: Rancid coconut milk.
Misanthropster: Straight vanilla extract.Secret Platinum Lavender Splash:
Crankster: A mix of rubbing alcohol and a toilet puck.
Misanthropster: Window cleaner.Secret Platinum Tropical Radiance:
Crankster: Rubbing Alcohol and a sleazy rum bar.
Misanthropster: Rum and rotting fruit.Secret Platinum Gardenia Spray:
Crankster: Old man.
Misanthropster: Rotting fruit.Secret Platinum Genuine:
Crankster: Mild, wet-smelling.
Misanthropster: Lily of the valley.Secret Violet Dazzle:
Crankster: Actually smells like violets.
Misanthropster: Actually smells like violets.Secret Pear:
Crankster: WAY too sweet.
Misanthropster: Smells like green apples.Soft and Dri Derma Stripe Whisper:
Crankster: Powder, pears, and jasmine.
Ella:Melony.Soft and Dri Power Stripe Passion Flower:
Ella: Cool and cucumbery.Soft and Dri DriGel Baby Powder:
Crankster: Smells overpoweringly of baby powder. As a side note, the "DriGel" has the texture of semen.
Ella:Baby Powder with a touch of alcohol.Soft and Dri Soft Scent:
Crankster: Scented tampons.
Ella: Exactly. Scented tampons.Sure Fresh Scent:
Crankster: White wine and grapes.
Misanthropster: Like men's cologne.Sure Powder Scent:
Crankster: Heavy powder smell.
Misanthropster: Baby powder.Sure Regular Scent:
Crankster: If global warming had a smell, this would be it. Smells like ozone coming off a broken electrical appliance.
Misanthropster: Like men's cologne.Suave Naturals Sun-Ripened Raspberry:
Crankster: Smells like raspberries.
Misanthropster: Ass.Suave Naturals Sweet Pea and Violet:
Crankster: Sugary flowers.
Misanthropster: Ass, sweet ass.Suave Naturals Soothing Aloe Vera:
Crankster: Crushed grass.
Misanthropster: Tangy ass.Suave Naturals Cucumber and Melon:
Crankster: Green Apple Jolly Ranchers.
Misanthropster: Ass.Suave Naturals Pacific Breeze:
Misanthropster: Just fuckin' nasty.Suave Fresh Powder :
Crankster: Basic powder scent.
Misanthropster: I hate Suave.Suave Powder :
Crankster: Sweetly, cloyingly flowery. Gross.
Misanthropster: Gross b.o. Like Tanya, a girl I knew in High School.Teen Spirit Berry Blossom:
Crankster: Powder and fruit punch.
Misanthropster: Rasberrys. Fuck, I can't spell.Teen Spirit Cool Coconut:
Crankster: Coconut Oil
Misanthropster: Coconuts. And teen spirit.
Labels: deodorant testing, Ella, George, Misanthropster