Me, in Flannel

The amazing, incomparable Glamourpuss has nominated me for the "Blog Most Likely to Inspire a Pair of Pyjamas" award. I was, of course, deeply honored, although her post forced me to look up the word "winceyette," which apparently refers to a kind of flannel that is soft on both sides. I'm already trying to find ways to fit my new word into sentences. Of course, I could go with the obvious:

"Are those pajamas winceyette?"

Unfortunately, however, my limited contact with pajama wearers makes it difficult to pull this one off, so I need to explore my options. I'm considering the poetically ironic:

"Your love embraces me like a winceyette straitjacket."

Alternately, there's the disdainfully ironic:

"Maine's nice, if you're into winceyette lingerie."

And one can always go for the ironically surreal:

"Michael Jackson isn't into children. He just has a winceyette fetish."

I'm sure that I'm woefully misusing the word (not to mention overindulging in irony), but such is the cost of innovation. While I work on my winceyette usage, I feel obliged to pass on this outstanding award. Oddly enough, it only took me a couple of seconds to imagine the pajamas that the following five bloggers inspired. I think that this, more than anything else, demonstrates the genius of this award!

1. Hearts in San Francisco would definitely be silky, colorful, and sophisticated. Perhaps it's just because of her Wizard of Oz avatar, but I envision something in black and dark green, with a dramatic splash of red sequins.

2. Judith seems suited to something flowing, yet subtle. Perhaps a celestial screen print, accented with occult symbols, on a background of dark blue.

3. Maybe it's just the photograph on Nosjunkie's blog, but I see her pajamas as being more dramatic. Perhaps black vinyl, perhaps leather. Basically, I imagine her pajamas as a cross between a Cenobite from Hellraiser and Hugh Hefner.

4. Odat's pajamas are warm, fuzzy, and embracing. They're multi-layered, made out of flannel, and perfect for curling up with a cup of hot chocolate. They come in warm, friendly colors and are embroidered with monkies.

5. When I was coming up with Jamiesmitten's pajamas, I cheated a little: I looked at the Halloween pictures on her blog. Her pajamas are relaxed, playful, and come with a pair of ears.

So there you go. One award, five bloggers, and the pajamas that they inspired. Have a very winceyette day!

Thinking Blogger Award

One side effect of taking a couple of months off blogging is that you miss an awful lot of things. One thing that I missed was the massive proliferation of awards. This isn't to say that I didn't get any awards; rather, I didn't get the time to give them the attention that they deserved, nor did I get the time to pass them on to the bloggers who move, inspire, and stimulate me.

So, anyway, one of my favorite bloggers, Glamourpuss, was kind enought to give me the "Thinking Blogger Award." I was particularly appreciative of this because I think that this is exactly what my favorite bloggers do: they enable me to see the world through another set of eyes and reconsider a few of my basic assumptions. I hope that that is part of what I do for you, because it certainly is what you do for me.

With that in mind, I nominate the following (alphabetically organized) five bloggers for the "Thinking Blogger Award," and thank them deeply for giving me another viewpoint:

1. Claudia of La Vida Claudia. Claudia is in the process of developing her artistic ability, even as she deals with all sorts of messy life events. She documents all of this with a smart, funny, and slightly cynical viewpoint. It's fair to say that she's a total delight.

2. Franki, of Frankily Yours is someone who I have had the joy of meeting, so this is a little bit of a cheat. Her posts are generally short, funny, and tend to grind up sacred cows.

3. Jamiesmitten, of Tell All Your Single Friends, tends toward the sort of random, playful thoughtfulness that so often leads to great ideas and sparks of genius.

4. Judith, of Aucturian Nighmare is one of those people who makes you realize that diversity is just so much more diverse than anyone gives it credit for. I mean, I though that I'd lived an eventful life, but Judith makes me look like a shut-in. Although she is currently out of circulation, I wait with bated breath for her return.

5. I've followed Pool across two blogs, and I will gladly follow her across many, many more. To put it bluntly, she demonstrates a keen, sharp intelligence and eloquence that puts me to shame. On top of all that, she also doesn't suffer fools, and has some beautiful stories about her refusal to do so.

So, there you go. Five bloggers who regularly show me new ways of seeing the world. I cannot overemphasize their talent or thoughtfulness.

Hope your Saturday is proceeding nicely!

Music Meme

Okay, as anyone who knows me will tell you, I have horrid taste in music. However, I have gamely undergone this somewhat painful meme that the profoundly evil Judith developed. I have done so for one reason--so that I can now inflict it on three people who undoubtedly have better taste in music than I do.

So, drumroll please:

Misanthropster, Alex (of Holtetboards), and Matt (of Animal Mind), you three are on!

What’s a great late night song?
Close the Door, Lou Reed (okay, I'm a little bent)

Name 5 wistful/bittersweet songs:
"I Hold Your Hand In Mine" - Tom Lehrer (okay, I'm a lot bent),
"All I Wanna Do" - Heart
"Somebody's Crying" - Chris Isaac
"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" - Judy Garland
"Christmastime Is Here Again" - Vince Guaraldi



The 4 Best Songs Ever Written:
Nope, I'm not touching that one with a vaccinated crowbar. I will, however, mention three songs that I think are really well done.
"Condition" Kenny Rodgers
"Sweet Home Alabama" Lynyrd Skynyrd
"Free Falling" Tom Petty
"People are Strange" The Doors

3 Current Favorite Songs:
Lately I find myself obsessively listening to Wildflowers by Tom Petty, Rockin' in the Weary Land by Donna the Buffalo, and "Too Long In the Wasteland" by James McMurtry

A Classic Drinking Music album:
Best of Jimmy Buffett

A Song You Want (or did) To Play At Your Wedding:
How about one I wish I played? The Way You Look Tonight

4 Good Angry Songs:
"Hello, Dad, I'm in Jail"
"Sink the Censorship" Disappear Fear
"Idiot Wind" Bob Dylan
"You Oughta Know" Alanis Morissette

One of Your Favorite Lyrics:
From "Angeline," by Larry McMurtry

Barefoot in the autumn weeds
Cotton dress hanging to your knees
to the eyes of a stranger
You offered a smile
I went to work in your daddy's fields
Didn't seem like such a bad deal
At least it would do for a while.

We were both young and unabashed
We took what life offered
When the folks were distracted
Or too tired to care
With a frost on the land
The fates forced our hand
Your dresses fit tighter
With the spring in the air.

3 Cover Songs Arguably Better Than the Original:
Danny's Song - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
Money - The Flying Lizards
With a Little Help - Joe Cocker



Ironic Song to Brutally Murder Someone to in a movie:
Fish Heads - Barnes and Barnes

Good Album to Clean The House To:
Best of the Temptations

Good Dining Music:
Anything by Mellow, Morphine, or Frank Sinatra

A Good Album To Put You In the Mood (that is NOT Sade, Marvin Gaye or Barry White):
Let's be honest--almost anything will work (I'm a guy)

Good Album To Sleep To:
Nomads, Indians, Saints - Indigo Girls

2 Songs That are Too Damn Sad:
"Hurt" - Nine Inch Nails

Great Love Song:
"They Can't Take That Away From Me" by George and Ira Gershwin. I like to imagine a guy in a mental institution or an Orwellian prison humming this to himself as they administer the Sodium Pentothal.

Song To An Ex That Isn’t Meanspirited:
"Whatever" - The Asylum Street Spankers

Song To An Ex That Is Kinda Meanspirited:
"Don't Fear the Reaper" - Blue Oyster Cult



Song to lose your Mind to:
"When the Trixter Starts a-Pokin'" Gogol Bordello

4 Songs That Make You Feel Amped and Inspired:
"The Battle Hymn of the Republic"
"Rock Me Like a Hurricane" Scorpionz
"Eye of the Tiger" (also best workout song ever)
"When I Was Born" Barenaked Ladies (more inspired than amped)

3 songs that are guilty pleasures:
Most of my preferred music is a guilty pleasure. Okay, how about "Annie's Song" by John Denver, "I Could Be Your Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne, and "Tom's Diner" by Suzanne Vega. Embarrassingly enough, I also own a fair bit of Roger Whittaker.

Criminally Underrated Band That Didn’t Get Attention and Then Broke Up:
Strange Fruit

Best Screw You I Am a Teenager in Pain Song:
How about "Best I am a whiny pencil-neck living in the middle of the 1980's" song? The answer is, of course, "People Are People" by Depressed, excuse me, Depeche Mode.

Feel No Shame, Great Current Pop Songs:
I hate to say it, but I think "The Black Parade" might count as a great rock anthem.

Album No One Would Expect You To Love:
Latino Crooners

Hip-Hop Song You Know All the Lyrics Too:
Actually, there isn't one.

Random Album You Loved In High School But Are Afraid To Admit It:
Faith by George Michaels

Album You May Have Listened To More In High School than Any Other Album:
Basically, any comedy album by Monty Python, any musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber, and a fair bit of Jethro Tull

Album To Clear A Room With:
Soft, Safe, and Sanitized

Catz Quiz

Okay, the famous Judith has hit me with a meme. I'm passing it on to the incredible Odat, the amazing Monicker, and the astounding Lexy

Of course, I'm also hoping that flattery will keep them from getting ticked off at being tagged.

1. A song?
"Close the Door," Velvet Underground

2. An 80's rock album?
Fine Young Cannibals, The Raw and the Cooked

3. A singer?
Nina Simone

4. A man?
Roald Dahl

5. A woman?
Ann Richards

6. A writer?
Anais Nin

7. A book?
The Last Picture Show

8. A word?
tompion

9. A movie?
The Exorcist

10. A wise statement?
Now I know the things I know,
And I do the things I do;
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you!
-Dorothy Parker

11. A colour?
Purple

12. A flower?
Bleeding Heart

13. A fictional character?
Tucker Case

14. A name?
Roswell P. Brown

15. A guitarist?
Eric Clapton

16. A guitar?
A Rickenbacker

17. An Age?
The Enlightenment, or 27

18. A famous Historical character?
Henry II of England

19. A flavour?
Anise

20. A meal?
Sesame Chicken with vegetable Lo Mein

21. A country?
Poland

22. A city?
San Francisco

23. A monument?
The National D-Day Memorial, Bedford, Virginia

Pickup Poems, Part IV: the End Is Nigh

Well, we seem to be winding down on the beautiful pickup poems, so I think this will be the last list, at least for a while. Many thanks to everyone who sent me their preferences!

In a wonderful shift from the sleazy to the sublime, Spellbound offered this poem by Kenneth Patchen:

As we are so wonderfully done with each other
We can walk into our separate sleep
on floors of music where the milkwhite cloak of childhood
lies

oh my love, my golden lark, my soft long doll
Your lips have splashed my dull house with print of flowers
My hands are crooked where they spilled over your dear
curving

It is good to be weary from that brilliant work
It is being God to feel your breathing under me

A waterglass on the bureau fills with morning.....
Don't let anyone in to wake us


Pickled Olives offered two pieces, both of which were wonderful. The first one hearkens back to "Goblin Market":

Stole:

eating a plum
I tongue the tight skin
drawn seam
that halves this globed
whole is two
it's midnight
but when I bite in
bursting
with wet red flesh
the juice dripping down
my fingers sweet
sticky sticky
sweet pulp
engorged I
fill my mouth
eat it down
eat it down
all the way to the plumbstone

It also reminded me of this one by William Carlos Williams. By the way, I think this is probably the only poem by Williams that I really, truly love:

This Is Just To Say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast.

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold.

Of course, Williams lacks the sexuality of Olives' poem, but the imagery gives me chills. No pun intended.

Olives also offered these lyrics:

Ooh, now let's get down tonight
Baby I'm hot just like an oven
I need some lovin'
And baby, I can't hold it much longer
It's getting stronger and stronger
And when I get that feeling
I want Sexual Healing
Sexual Healing, oh baby
Makes me feel so fine
Helps to relieve my mind
Sexual Healing baby, is good for me
Sexual Healing is something that's good for me
Whenever blue tear drops are falling
And my emotional stability is leaving me
There is something I can do
I can get on the telephone and call you up baby, and
Honey I know you'll be there to relieve me
The love you give to me will free me
If you don't know the things you're dealing
I can tell you, darling, that it's Sexual Healing
Get up, Get up, Get up, Get up, let's make love tonight
Wake up, Wake up, Wake up, Wake up, 'cos you do it right
Baby I got sick this morning
A sea was storming inside of me
Baby I think I'm capsizing
The waves are rising and rising
And when I get that feeling
I want Sexual Healing
Sexual Healing is good for me
Makes me feel so fine, it's such a rush
Helps to relieve the mind, and it's good for us
Sexual Healing, baby, is good for me
Sexual Healing is something that's good for me
And it's good for me and it's good to me
My baby ohhh
Come take control, just grab a hold
Of my body and mind soon we'll be making it
Honey, oh we're feeling fine
You're my medicine open up and let me in
Darling, you're so great
I can't wait for you to operate
I can't wait for you to operate
When I get this feeling, I need Sexual Healing

I'm not totally sure that she was serious, but God bless Olives! Here's the video:



I thought about putting up a video of George Michael singing the song, but there's a limit to my sense of irony. Besides, GM grosses me out.

Rhapsody offered this wonderful poem. It's not romantic, per se, but definitely puts Marvell in his place:

His Coy Mistress to Mr. Marvell
by A.D. Hope

Since you have world enough and time
Sir, to admonish me in rhyme,
Pray Mr Marvell, can it be
You think to have persuaded me?
Then let me say: you want the art
To woo, much less to win my heart.
The verse was splendid, all admit,
And, sir, you have a pretty wit.
All that indeed your poem lacked
Was logic, modesty, and tact,
Slight faults and ones to which I own,
Your sex is generally prone;
But though you lose your labour, I
Shall not refuse you a reply:

First, for the language you employ:
A term I deprecate is "coy";
The ill-bred miss, the bird-brained Jill,
May simper and be coy at will;
A lady, sir, as you will find,
Keeps counsel, or she speaks her mind,
Means what she says and scorns to fence
And palter with feigned innocence.

The ambiguous "mistress" next you set
Beside this graceless epithet.
"Coy mistress", sir? Who gave you leave
To wear my heart upon your sleeve?
Or to imply, as sure you do,
I had no other choice than you
And must remain upon the shelf
Unless I should bestir myself?
Shall I be moved to love you, pray,
By hints that I must soon decay?
No woman's won by being told
How quickly she is growing old;
Nor will such ploys, when all is said,
Serve to stampede us into bed.

When from pure blackmail, next you move
To bribe or lure me into love,
No less inept, my rhyming friend,
Snared by the means, you miss your end.
"Times winged chariot", and the rest
As poetry may pass the test;
Readers will quote those lines, I trust,
Till you and I and they are dust;
But I, your destined prey, must look
Less at the bait than at the hook,
Nor, when I do, can fail to see
Just what it is you offer me:
Love on the run, a rough embrace
Snatched in the fury of the chase,
The grave before us and the wheels
Of Time's grim chariot at our heels,
While we, like "am'rous birds of prey",
Tear at each other by the way.

To say the least, the scene you paint
Is, what you call my honour, quaint!
And on this point what prompted you
So crudely, and in public too,
To canvass and , indeed, make free
With my entire anatomy?
Poets have licence, I confess,
To speak of ladies in undress;
Thighs, hearts, brows, breasts are well enough,
In verses this is common stuff;
But -- well I ask: to draw attention
To worms in -- what I blush to mention,
And prate of dust upon it too!
Sir, was this any way to woo?

Now therefore, while male self-regard
Sits on your cheek, my hopeful bard,
May I suggest, before we part,
The best way to a woman's heart
Is to be modest, candid, true;
Tell her you love and show you do;
Neither cajole nor condescend
And base the lover on the friend;
Don't bustle her or fuss or snatch:
A suitor looking at his watch
Is not a posture that persuades
Willing, much less reluctant maids.

Remember that she will be stirred
More by the spirit than the word;
For truth and tenderness do more
Than coruscating metaphor.
Had you addressed me in such terms
And prattled less of graves and worms,
I might, who knows, have warmed to you;
But, as things stand, must bid adieu
(Though I am grateful for the rhyme)
And wish you better luck next time.

Yeats was a particular favorite. Judith offered "Ominous and Rejoiceful yeats to melt and harden the heart." A perfect description:

Never give all the Heart

Never give all the heart, for love
Will hardly seem worth thinking of
To passionate women if it seem
Certain, and they never dream
That it fades out from kiss to kiss;
For everything that's lovely is
But a brief, dreamy, kind delight.
O never give the heart outright,
For they, for all smooth lips can say,
Have given their hearts up to the play.
And who could play it well enough
If deaf and dumb and blind with love?
He that made this knows all the cost,
For he gave all his heart and lost

Judith also offered this one:

Brown Penny

I whispered, 'I am too young,'
And then, 'I am old enough';
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
'Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair.'
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.

O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.

Glamourpuss put forth "When You Are Old" by Yeats. As she said, "I would melt if someone wrote that to me. Sigh."

WHEN you are old and gray and full of sleep
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true;
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face.

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead,
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

I don't know if Yeats is romantic, but he's amazingly beautiful. Once again, thank you all for playing, and I'll leave you with one last poem by Cummings:

somewhere i have never travelled...

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully, misteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the colour of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

Aucturian Meme

Judith tagged me with this meme. I'm not sure if she wrote it herself, but it was a lot of fun, so I decided to pass on the joy. Olives, Mystic Wing, and the CEO all get this one.

Another profoundly cool thing that Judith did was offer a song as a payoff for the meme. Here's one that I enjoy. I don't know if this is the best cover by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, but it's the best one I could find on YouTube:



If you could have any piece of art what would it be?
Part of me would want some Jeff Koons, just so I could spare the world, but I think I'd go with Night Cafe by Van Gogh (I know--obvious choice).

Name two of your guilty pleasures
Drinking heavy cream mixed with sugar and masturbation.

If you were an actor/actress who would it be and what movie would you choose to take the lead role in?
Bogart, Maltese Falcon.

What's the most romantic gesture someone's made to you?
I'm not going to answer this one.

Who's your favorite superhero / villain?
The Badger.

What's your favorite leftover food?
Szechuan Beef

Describe in five words how you saw yourself in high school
Smart, geeky, funny, chubby, goofy.

If you could live anywhere in the world were would it be and why?
Tough question! Probably Prague--great food, creepy atmosphere, wonderful people, and excellent public attractions.

Name five good gifts you would like to recieve (within reason- no sports cars etc)
A cashmere sweater, a new briefcase/messenger bag, some nice shirts, any of the Universal monster film re-releases on DVD, and a signed first edition of Lamb.

If you could live one week in a cartoon what would it be and why?
Johnny Quest, because it'd be a really exciting week.

Oooh, oooh, or Scooby Doo for the same reason, plus the weed.

Dinner for five - who would you invite (the world is your oyster)
Franz Kafka, Shel Silverstein, Ambrose Bierce, George Orwell, and Idi Amin.