I Wanna Go to Kazakhstan!

A while back, I wrote a post about Borat. When the movie opened, Kazakhstan officials raised a fuss about its disrespectful depiction of the country. However, they soon recognized the value of all the free publicity and tied the film in with their growing tourist trade.

Having done some research on the country, I recently realized that I need to visit Kazakhstan. This place is amazing! A former Soviet republic, Kazakhstan is in the process of transforming itself into one of the most futuristic places in the world. The architecture alone is mind-boggling. For example, in the capital, Astana, there is a building, the 344-foot-tall Baiterek (or Byterek) tower, that is designed to represent the tree life. Clasped in its "branches" is a 300-ton glass ball that houses an observation deck. Here's what it looks like:

And here's what it looks like at night:

Inside the Baiterek sphere, there's a palm print embedded in a gold and silver triangle:

Touching the palm print causes the Kazakh national anthem to play.

Now, honestly, how cool is that?

And that's not all. Here's the ministry of transportation:

Some people call this building "the cigarette lighter," for obvious reasons. But it looks so damn cool!

Here's the "Astana Tower":

I need to point out that this is a real building, not a virtual-reality mock-up. At least, I think it's a real photo. Here's another shot:

Check out this one, which is imaginatively titled the "Building of Oil and Gas Companies I":



Additionally, the President of Kazakhstan, Nursultan Nazarbayev (isn't that an insanely cool name? Way better than "George Bush"!), has built a huge pyramid in Astana, and is in the process of constructing Khan Shatyry, a gigantic, transparent tent that will cover 100,000 square meters of the city and raise the temperatures in the districts it protects. This is necessary because of one of the major downsides to Kazakhstan: it's incredibly cold. During the winter, the temperatures drop to 40 degrees below zero, and the city regularly freezes for six months of the year.

Okay, that's a serious shortcoming. For that matter, it's also somewhat disturbing that Nursultan Nazarbayev (seriously, what a cool name! Try saying it aloud.) is essentially a benevolent dictator. Still, nobody's perfect, and given my own president's prediliction for undermining the Bill of Rights, I have to admit that I might not be in a position to talk about dictatorships. Besides, I'm not planning on moving there.

At least, not until they build the big-ass tent.

Jagshemash!

NB: This post is about Borat. If you haven't seen it yet, please be forewarned: there are a couple of little spoilers I will indicate the offending paragraphs with the word Spoiler!

My wife and I went to see Borat a couple of days after it opened. It's not easy for us to get out to see movies these days, but we were familiar with Sascha Baron Cohen, and had been waiting for the film with bated breath. As soon as it came out, we foisted little George on my sister, Ella, and ran out the door.

We weren't disappointed. From the opening in Borat's village to the closing rendition of "Born to Be Wild" in a vaguely slavic-sounding language, we were laughing so hard it hurt. The movie combined grotesque slapstick with culturally-relevant satire in perfect proportion. Although it shows its subjects in a less-than-perfect light, it somehow managed to make us feel for its victims. Even while they expressed sentiments that made us cringe, we could feel their humanity, and understood that most of them were fundamentally decent.


Spoiler! For most of the film, the entire theater was laughing uproariously. However, there was one scene during which everyone got really quiet. Borat is in an RV with a bunch of young frat boys from the University of South Carolina. The group is discussing women, and the young men are expressing their belief that women are, to put it mildly, undeserving of respect. At one point, the boys ask Borat if it is legal to enslave women in "Russia" (they seem unable to understand that there is more than one country in Eastern Europe/Central Asia). Borat tells them that, yes, women are slaves in Khazakhstan.

When my wife and I watched this scene, we were the only ones laughing. The rest of the audience, which was largely composed of 18-25 year old white men and their dates, was dead silent. The boy sitting next to my wife kept repeating "Oh my god. Oh my fucking god." I think that half the humor of this scene was watching many members of the audience recognizing themselves on the screen.

Needless to say, we weren't surprised when they frat boys decided to sue Borat's production company. While they were merely repeating statements and beliefs that are common in their peer group, the open admission of such perspectives is, of course, a major no-no. After the film was released, the young men were kicked out of their fraternity.

Spoiler! Of course, the news media reacted with the thoughful consideration and well-reasoned analysis that we've come to expect from America's fourth estate. After wagging their fingers at the racist and sexist comments of Borat's victims, the media moved on to the movie, arguing that, because some members of the audience may not get the joke, the film could be dangerous. In other words, because there are slack-jawed troglodytes who take Borat seriously when he asks which gun is best for killing Jews, or how fast one must go in a Hummer if one wishes to kill a Gypsy.


In other words, because Borat could misunderstood by a certain small, demented portion of the populace, we should consider restricting its release. Of course, the author of this idiotic article, Amy Biancolli, of the Houston Chronicle, doesn't openly suggest censorship, intelligence tests for audiences, or any other such icky solutions. However, her article definitely questions the appropriateness of material that is so ripe for misinterpretation. The draconian solutions, of course, aren't her problem.

My question is this: when did we start tailoring American culture for the bottom fifth percentile? I remember when they changed the word "fire" in Beavis and Butthead to "liar," and when they took the lying-in-the-road hazing ritual out of the movie The Program. I also have noted the warnings that appear during South Park and Jackass!, as well as the sleazy little "Midi-Chloridian" wimp-out in the new Star Wars films. I know, of course, that we've put all these warnings in because some idiot in Squirrel Nuts, Iowa decided to set himself on fire, lie in the middle of the road, or fire tangerines at his nuts using a potato cannon. What I don't understand is why we care.

Let me put it this way: if little Billy is stupid enough to try lying in the middle of the road, and his parents aren't inclined to stop him, then perhaps his death is nature's way of thinning the herd. I'm with Darwin on this one--part of life is an informal IQ test, and if you're stupid enough to take yourself out of the game, well, maybe that's best for all concerned.

Let's let Billy do his thing. In the meantime, I don't need your protection, and I resent the implication that I'm not smart enough to learn from Borat. I, and the 95% of the country smart enough to recognize a joke when they see it, will be discussing the humorous and intellectual implications of the film. The rest of you can keep busy with your safety scissors and blunted intellects.