Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Christmas Values

Although I am a liberal, and therefore officially immoral, I have always considered myself a values-based kind of guy. And during this season, when the long, frozen winter nights give me a lot of time to think about my values, I like to consider the things that are really meaningful.

Values are fundamental and basic. They can't be bought or sold, and they're the things that stay with you long after everything else has become meaningless. That's why, even though I don't have a lot of money, I would gladly give it all--every cent--just to watch Horatio Sanz being raped by a bull elephant.

It's not just his utter lack of talent, or his smirking self-satisfaction, or even the fact that he used up one (at least one) space on Saturday Night Live, a space that could have gone to a superior performer. Frankly, Sanz's inability to even perform his way through even the shortest skit without giggling at his own buffoonery has made him the ultimate example of a fat guy sliding through on a jolly stereotype and a high-lipid diet.

Boy, I sure do hate Horatio Sanz.

All of this, however, is a preface to my tale of a true New Year's miracle. While there aren't any performers who I despise as much as Horatio Sanz, I also have a particular cold spot in my lower intestine for the comic stylings of Jimmy Fallon.

One of my favorite moments on Family Guy occurred when Peter beat the crap out of Jimmy Fallon. I know it wasn't the real Jimmy, and that it was animated, but it gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling to watch that self-satisfied overgrown class clown get his comeuppance. I always thought that Jimmy a real-life Zack Morris, a self-obsessed preppie who somehow got lucky enough to land a spot in the middle of SNL. Surrounded by a array of more talented and unique Screech Powers', he couldn't quite hide his smug self-satisfaction, his contemptuous belief that the rest of the world should just love him because he's so damn cute.

This New Year's Eve, however, my friend Joey introduced my wife and I to Fallon's outstanding imitation of Barry Gibb. I don't know what blend of luck, pop culture, Justin Timberlake, and random serendipity combined to make this possible, but Fallon does a truly beautiful job sending up the egomaniacal genius behind so many falsetto tunes. In his scabrous portrayal of grotesque aging seventies self-importance, Fallon touches on transcendence.

Incidentally, if this link doesn't work, just google "barry gibb snl." Really, you've got to check this out. If it fails to get you the first time you see it, wait 24-36 hours and try again.

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  • I also hated that guy who used to do the weekend updates w/ that woman.

    There is nothing UNFUNNIER in a comedian than one who laughs during a skit. It turns my stomach when the live audience howls idiotically and encourages the actors to break character.

    I mean, that couldn't be less funny.

    I also hate people who like college football.

    By Blogger M@, At January 2, 2008 at 8:44 PM  

  • I concur; can't stand Jimmy Fallon, although interestingly enough, in the midst of an SNL "Celebrity Jeopardy" binge, I had to at least concede that he can do decent impressions of funny/talented people (his Robin Williams was particularly well-played). Those brief glimmers of hope, however, will always be shrouded shrouded by the more familiar image of him ruining skits, or just being a jackass, like he was as the drummer in the "More Cowbell" skit. All he has to do is sit there and not laugh. Mission half-accomplished. He should be fed to Horatio Sanz (it would take care of both because consuming Jimmy Fallon has to be lethal)

    By Blogger College Stud(ent), At January 3, 2008 at 12:06 AM  

  • LOL That WAS awesome! They did a great job with that one.

    Fallon...never been a big fan of him either. And I could not stand Adam Sandler's stuff when he was on SNL. But Adam Sandler the movie actor...her's quite good, I think anyway.

    By Blogger Echomouse, At January 3, 2008 at 1:34 AM  

  • I love this post and have often wished for scabrous oversexed bull elephants to put someone out of my misery, but I haven't been able to watch SNL in years.

    The REAL show was when they had Gilda, John, Chevy, Bill, Jane and all those other incredibly talented people. None of the subsequent casts can touch them.

    By Blogger heartinsanfrancisco, At January 3, 2008 at 2:56 AM  

  • Um dont even know who the guy is

    By Blogger Nosjunkie, At January 3, 2008 at 4:45 AM  

  • Oh I don't know...sometimes when a comedian cracks up, it positively sends me into helplessness. I am ghey and I love those bloopers too. The comedian I can't stand? Chevy Chase. I know he had some great moments, but he just seems like such a prick.

    By Anonymous Franki, At January 3, 2008 at 8:30 AM  

  • I'm pretty sure Jimmy Fallon isnt acting. Cracks me up though. I'm pretty easy to make laugh, so, I don't really hate any comedians.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, At January 3, 2008 at 8:36 AM  

  • I'm with you on this one. Can't stand either fellow. Ditto for David Spade.

    But this is a funny skit, I must admit. Maybe I'll come around on Fallon. I did eventually change my opinion of Adam Sandler.

    By Blogger Mystic Wing, At January 3, 2008 at 9:42 AM  

  • Great post....Nice lead in...was expecting something other than a bull elephant raping a comedian nut.


    By Blogger Odat, At January 4, 2008 at 9:39 AM  

  • I haven't watched SNL in seems that they can't create their own characters anymore-instead, it's just caricatures of real people and while some of it is funny-please I'd like to see something original.

    By Blogger Claudia, At January 4, 2008 at 10:33 AM  

  • Matt-
    With you on both counts. When an actor starts laughing at his own jokes, I feel like I've been screwed.

    And college football is a repulsive waste of resources and a pretty horrifying exploitation.

    College Stud(ent)-
    Yeah, it's not like it's really that hard to keep a straight face...and the idea of feeding him to Horatio seems pretty solid. Sort of a Mama Cass style demise.

    Funny you should mention Sandler. I couldn't agree more. I love most of his movies, but I remember wanting to hurl a brick at the TV when he was on SNL.

    I know what you mean. Those shows were classic.

    Then again, I think the James Bond franchise has been going downhill since Dr. No.

    Although I really liked the last one an awful lot.

    You're lucky!

    "I'm Chevy Chase and you're not." ugh.

    You are so much more forgiving than I!

    Mystic Wing-
    Did you come around or did Sandler? Maybe the same goes for Fallon.

    The image seemed very appropriate for Horatio Sanz. Besides, a bear would just be icky.

    I really fell for The State for exactly that reason. Unfortunately, it went off the air way too quickly!

    By Blogger Crankster, At January 5, 2008 at 12:36 AM  

  • With one or two exceptions, American comedians leave me cold. Weird, cos there are some great sitcoms about.


    By Blogger Glamourpuss, At January 5, 2008 at 9:19 AM  

  • Puss-
    It's interesting which things cross cultural boundaries and which things don't. Some English comedians kill me, but most don't.

    By Blogger Crankster, At January 22, 2008 at 7:12 AM  

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