Ten Things the Marshmallow Companies Don't Want You to Know
1. Marshmallows are fattening.
2. Marshmallows have no nutritional value.
3. Marshmallows are made from the souls of Norwegian infants.
4. Every time you eat a marshmallow, an American job moves overseas.
5. Marshmallows are bland.
6. Marshmallows fund death squads in Sierra Leone.
7. Cool kids don't eat marshmallows.
8. Marshmallows oppose electoral reform.
9. Marshmallows cause marsh gas, which is destroying the ozone layer.
10. Idi Amin's second favorite food was marshmallows (Pol Pot preferred caramel cremes).
This message has been brought to you by the National Alliance of Gummy Bear Manufacturers.