Suburban S&M: An Introduction

When I got married, my wife's ex-roommate bought me a straitjacket.

I know how strange that sounds, but it actually makes a fair amount of sense. After I saw Cecil B. Demented, I got a little obsessed with straitjackets. In much of the film, Stephen Dorff sports a canvas straitjacket. He wears it backwards and open, giving him a little bit of a Colin Clive in Frankenstein look. Basically, he rocks a straitjacket.

I, of course, wanted one. In the interests of full disclosure, and as a not-so-subtle Christmas present hint, I mentioned this fashion preference to my girlfriend, who thought it was a fantastic idea. She, of course, mentioned it to her roommate, and the rest is history. Fast forward a couple of years, and I find myself opening a box a day or two before my wedding, only to discover a bright red leather straitjacket.

Okay, I really appreciated the idea, but a bright red leather straitjacket? Not so much. Whereas a canvas straitjacket is cool and retro, a red leather straitjacket is just plain kinky. Also, it looked a lot like the jacket that Michael Jackson wore in Thriller. Still, it was a gift, and I didn't really know what to do with it, so it sat in one of the closets in our house for a couple of years.

A few months back, my friend Jules revealed to me that she'd become involved in an S&M group. This has proved an endless source of conversation, as we've talked about the other people in her group, their respective families, and the ways that they've managed to make their lifestyle choice work. Recently, she moved in with one of her S&M friends, and they decided to construct a dungeon in their basement. As she was telling me about her plans, I realized that I had the perfect gift for her.

Jules got the straitjacket in the mail a couple of days ago and called me to rave about it. She loved the color, the smooth leather, and the wonderful new car smell. She told me that she's already thinking about ways to use it.

I love it when regifting works.